Sunday, April 5, 2009

2 out of the 7

The number rose up one.

The past few weeks have seriously worked me. It's drained my mind, my body, my soul, my heart, every inch of every part... drained. I get better... and then I get worse. I get better... and then I get worse. It's like a freaking roller-coaster I don't want to ride. It's like I'm still a part of the team but I'm not. Barkada Modern killed it out there tonight at World of Dance. I honestly couldn't have been more proud of each and every individual than I was tonight. They brought it all... the energy, the swagger, the drive and the heart. Tonight, Bmod raised their own bar, the own expectations. And.. come Fusion and Ultimate Brawl and all the other performances lined up... best believe BMOD WILL WORK.


I love them so much that it hurts that I can't be dancing with them. Sometimes, I just wish it didn't have to happen to me. I stood on that stage tonight - speechless. I felt the floor, I look up at where the crowd would be, I felt the rush of being backstage.. fuck. I just wish I could dance. Honestly, it killed the rest of my night. And I allowed it. I just wanna fucking dance. I want my back to heal. I want my parent's support. I want the money it takes. I want school to manage on its own. I want that extra time to study. I want that extra time to hang out with friends. I want that time to sleep. I want that time to able to just sit and read. I want all these things. But I know that for damn sure you can't always get what you want. Sacrifice is always a price. Being on that stage made me realize what I know I'm missing.

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