The storm is passing

Last week's downfall could only be attached with an amazing recovery. Let last week be last week. It's a new week and there's just so much I have to look forward to. The month of March brings a promising recovery... I can see it now. Don't get me wrong, I still think about it but after going to church after more than a month.. I can say that it actually helped me out. I stayed focused, limited my amount of A.D.D., paid attention to the sermon and completely gave myself to Him. All my burdens, all my sorrows, all the pain... was lifted up from my shoulders. Regardless of my major headache, dizziness, ugly cough and throwing up, I felt amazing. "Suicide? What's that?" Has been my attitude since. [: I couldn't have stayed stronger if it weren't for those who loved me, cared, and showed it. Thank You.

On a different note, we decided it was best to call everything off. Mutual decision in a way. [: I'm happy though.. the fish is back in the ocean and the boat is still at surface. I thought I'd be sad when we called everything off, but after talking to Genie and actually realizing that I wasn't, I started to think that maybe... things are just better off this way. It was good while it lasted but I guess it just wasn't meant to be. We're friends and I like it this way. I'm kinda looking at it in way where catching the fish became winning a prize. I see it as a reward for being good all of '08. I see it as if I deserved something AWESOME to happen to me after being treated like shit for long. Hahah it's good and honestly, it makes me REALLY HAPPY. I feel like I can figure things out now. ...Not saying that I couldn't before when we were talking. But now... now that I let that part of my life go.. I can continue to disregard everything and everyone that I feel won't bring me to my happy place. I'm not saying that I want all the negative out of my life.. cause with negative people bring positive experiences. It just depends on how you handle it. Yeah, it's gonna take energy you might not be willing to use but in the end... a negative will attract a positive. And my negative week will bring a positive one... but hopefully it isn't just one but many more positive weeks after that. I believe there's positive. I believe that I'll be completely happy again. It's possible. The storm is passing.