Rest in heaven

To a life cut short of living...

How is it possible that I could be effected as much as I am to a person that I've never even met only heard stories of? Is it because we're family? Is it because we share the same blood? Is it because that same family lost their father, my uncle, only this past December? Is it because he was the youngest of four and the only boy? Or is it because he was only two months younger than me? Or maybe... maybe it's because there was alcohol involved. Or it could be because I hate seeing Grandma cry. --- Slammed onto a cemented wall, the van was completely totaled. Smashed between a wall and the rest of the van, it took 3 hours to get him out. He spent another 3 days in Intensive Care struggling to breathe through the all the tubes injected into his flesh. Damaging his small intestines, paralyzed from the waist down and God only knows what else - he was taken. Taken away from family and friends.. but reuniting with those who past away before. I remember Kuya DJ mentioning that we should meet our cousin, Dave or David 'cause he was pretty cool - funny & has that Robeniol humor in him. ... and because he was my age. One of the few cousins around my age.

"I'm gonna go home now."
"How are you getting home?"
"I'm driving."
"You aren't driving."
"No, Kat. I'm fine. Trust me."

I've had this exact conversation a good 7 times, maybe even more. I've never told anyone this, but it's one of the things I Hate most. I rarely use the word Hate simply because of how much strength it carries with it. But this is probably makes top 5. [if there is even 5 things. I'm not gonna spend time on that.] David's death only gives me another reason to continue believing what I believe. How are you gonna tell me that you're driving home when you and I were claiming we were drunk only 15 minutes before.? How are you gonna tell me that you're driving home when only an hour before I see a drink in your hand? If you want to increase your chances of dying because of reckless decision making REGARDLESS of the distance you have to travel, so be it. But don't say "Bye" to me & give me a hug or a kiss on the cheek and expect me to not say anything to you. I hate it and I hope you never forget that.

Two MONTHS younger.
And the only time I'd ever get to meet him is when I die.

Rest In Heaven, Cousin. Watch over the rest of us - especially all the younger ones. Your life will be treasured & remembered always. Tell everyone up there I say Hi & that I miss them. I'll see you soon... I love you