Separated

Separated. My hands from my life. My mind from reality. Two distinct worlds clash day by day without control. Two ideas, two minds, two sides, One heart, One God. LET GO AND LET GOD. Oh how difficult it is to release the idea of control. Yet, it is a vital necessity to withhold. in order to continue, accepting less control serves a wider range of possibilities for it allows those possibilities to come true blending itself together with reality. Living is difficult but not impossible. Realizing I don't always have control over what happens, I'm slowly but surely learning how to live with life's ongoing consequences. Age does not define wisdom. Experience defines wisdom. Finding myself in the shadows of the day... I will succeed. Slapped with the truth, I cannot hide; I cannot deny. My own mistakes - I learn how to deal.

What do you do when the most precious gift you can ever receive loses its meaning? Slowly, I'm beginning to realize that my perspective on certain beautys in the world are being tainted... only because I allow it to be tainted. Is it because I've grown accustomed to a certain level that has been achieved numerous times, that when the standards aren't being met -- it gives off a bad impression? I'm trying to broaden my view of life and what it has to offer to me. I'm fighting with myself to hold the same views I used to have just a few monhs ago. I'm fighting with myself to hold back from becoming someone I know I never wanted to be. Should I allow myself and allow life occur? Should I flow with reality and where it takes me? Should I stop fighting and start accepting who I become? So many things contradict. My mind wanders on its own, it ventures where it wants. Am I concentrating too much on the fight? Is fighting my distraction? It's this mind game that I can't seem to stop playing. This mind game with myself. You slapped the truth in my face. And I'm secretly fighting back. THat single statement was the ultimate blow. Fighting. Fighting - coming face to face with the truth you thought you kept so tightly in -- you found my weakness and took advantage of it. Time does not permit. It does not allow. Experience is made to break or make.

Separation from world is what I long for. Just a few hours to get away and to release the negative I hold in so deeply. I feel free yet so restricted. Restricted of the conversations. Restricted of the feelings. It's difficult to be open now.. it's weird.

Meet new people. Indulge myself in deeper and healthier conversation. Refresh my mind and find a reason to believe. Someone restore my faith..